What to Do When You Feel Like Everyone Is Ahead of You in Life

This is the best advice I’ve ever heard

Jeff Valdivia


Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

Do you feel like you’re not where you should be? Like all your friends and peers are way ahead of you? Like you’re not even close to reaching any of the goals you so desperately want?

Social media doesn’t help. Although you know the endless number of positive posts isn’t representative of people’s lives, you nevertheless begin to get the impression that everyone else is achieving their dreams.

Then, you ask yourself, Where are all MY great things? Why isn’t my life as incredible as everyone else’s?

It’s questions like these that can make us feel not good enough, like complete failures, and frustrated about where we are in life. All of us feel this way from time to time. For better or worse, we’re compelled to compare ourselves to everyone else. This is built into our psychology.

So, what can we do when we feel like everyone’s ahead of us in life?

I think all we can ever do is follow the brilliant advice of tennis legend, Arthur Ashe:

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.

Start where you are

You’re not where you want to be, are you? Maybe you want a more fulfilling job. Maybe you want to be a better writer. Maybe you want to find the perfect partner. Maybe you want to find your passion.

The gap between who are you now and who you want to be can be disheartening. It’s a big gap, right? And when you stare into it, you can easily become overwhelmed by its breadth and its darkness.

So, stop staring into it. You won’t begin to close the gap this way, will you? Instead, it’ll just stare right back and slowly break your spirit.

Here’s a simple truth: you can’t change the gap right now. You know this is true but you wish it wasn’t. This tension between what you know and what you want holds you back from moving forward. So, recognize the tension, see it in your mind, feel it in your body, and then let go of your desire to be somewhere that you’re not.



Jeff Valdivia

Following my curiosity and hoping it will lead me to wisdom. I write about psychology, meditation, self-development, and spirituality.