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Stop Beating Yourself Up For Letting Yourself Down
What the new science of self-discipline and willpower is teaching us about creating new habits.
When you think of someone who’s “self-disciplined”, what do you imagine? Is it someone who consistently does the “right” thing, regardless of the situation? Someone who works out even after a long day in the office. Who gets up early even after a late night with friends. Who is productive even when distractions abound.
We admire these people, don’t we? We think they have a strength of character that’s worthy of praise. We believe they summon power from some eternal wellspring and use it to force themselves to do the right thing. It’s heroic, almost godlike.
But, what if we’re all just confused? What if ideas like “willpower” and “self-discipline” and “effortful control” are not what we think they are?
If you look at my life, you might think I’m self-disciplined. I wake up at 5 AM every morning to meditate and then write. While I’m working, I make sure to keep my phone out of sight so I’m less distracted. I get some form of exercise every day, typically immediately after work. I rarely break this routine.
But, I know from experience that I don’t have extraordinary self-discipline or willpower. There…
