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Dating After Divorce

Jeff Valdivia
8 min readNov 5, 2019

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Five things you need to know.

Photo by Relevante design on Unsplash

If you think divorce is hard, try dating once it’s all over!

OK, that’s a little dramatic. For many of us, divorce can be one of the most difficult life events we endure.

I have been separated for more than three years. Before that, I was with my ex-partner for the previous 14 years. That’s a long time and a big change.

Breaking away from the habits and routines formed by all those years together was challenging. I felt a loss of identity. Who was I without my partner? What did I want? Could I succeed on my own?

The answers to some of these questions took a long time to find. I’m still waiting on others.

Divorce throws your life upside down. It shakes you up like a snowglobe, and you have no idea how all the pieces that you once were will settle.

And this is complicated by the fact that most of us want some kind of partnership (or partnerships — plural — which I don’t think is for me, but to each their own!).

If you were in a long-term relationship like I was, the dating world can appear absolutely terrifying. I had never used a dating app. I hadn’t been on a date since I was 18 years old. I didn’t make new friends easily. I didn’t know what I wanted. I was shy.

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Jeff Valdivia
Jeff Valdivia

Written by Jeff Valdivia

Following my curiosity and hoping it will lead me to wisdom. I write about psychology, meditation, self-development, and spirituality.

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